In trying to “get out of my comfort zone” I committed to a series of 12 self-portraits for 2012. I mean really? How hard can it be to take ONE picture of myself per month for a single year? I thought… I WILL NOT leave this until the last minute. This is something I can DO. It’ll be fun. It’ll be real.
Well, turns out… as per usual for this super procrastinator, I left it until the very last moment. I didn’t even THINK about it until Nancy Lary, a South Bend Indiana lifestyle photographer posted on my facebook page with a quite innocent “selfies today?”. Uh, yeah… Panic. I’ll make time tonight. I committed. I must make this happen (cue the heart palpitations… ). I’ve decided to wing it tonight, with promises of a better effort next month (uh, that starts in 3.5 hours self… start immediately!)
I’ll be honest. This is more real than I intended it to be. I work full-time, at a demanding job, then come home every night to another demanding job of being a mommy of young kids that NEED me (every second of the day). The baby has been sick. He only knows about 2-dozen words with 23 of them being a firm “NO” and the other one being a softer “no” followed by some piece of rejected food being thrown at my face. I know he knows more than that but lately, his repertoire has been “fine-tuned” by this new vocabulary of single syllable words beginning in N and ending with O. I don’t remember my older guy being this… obstinate… but my husband assures me he was. How can I feel outnumbered when there are two grown-ups and two kids. We clearly should have this under control. Should…
After caring for a sick baby all night, I hauled myself out of bed at about 6 this morning and headed to the office. We should have been ready by 730, but somehow time slips away and we pushed into daycare at 8AM sharp, the time I’m supposed to be IN my office. Imagine my surprise when I walk in and suddenly remember that while I was away last week on business, my office was being moved. Begin the hauling of accumulated files of useless old stuff from the old place to the new. By lunch I was exhausted, and I hadn’t even started my day.
At 5:30 I called it quits, headed home and was relieved that my wonderful husband had picked up the kids from daycare and was mid dinner prep. Lovely. We ate before 630. This is a miracle on most days. My older son needed to use the potty mid-meal, and after having strawberries chucked at my head for 15 minutes I was relieved to call dinner over. It worked out well, this potty break… the baby smeared vegetables in his hair between strawberry chucking and “NO” meaning I could kill two birds so to speak by bathing the baby while I waiting for the lovely “Mommy, I need a WIPE!”. Awesome.
730 rolled around and the baby was in bed, so I set out to get this self-portrait. No time for anything but REAL here.
I often spend the last 30-minutes of my day in me-mode. I’ll watch MTV reality shows for a dose of insipid drama or read in my kindle. Brad joins me and we watch the History channel. I swear I swore I’d never be my dad in this way. Turns out the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.
It’s not exciting. I know. It is real. For that I’m not ashamed.
Better luck next month, right?
Shot with my D300, Manfrotto tripod (it goes all the way to the ground which I’m sure will be useful someday), 10 second shutter delay. ISO 3200, 1/100. Wall canvasses from our family session this past summer by Jen Mahoney, Beaverton Family Photographer. She’s amazing (LOVE <3). They are 24 x 24 and make me smile every day.